Fan Admits Buying Moss Jersey Was a Mistake


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MINNEAPOLIS (satire) – Like many Minnesota sports fans, 33-year-old William Ericson of Maple Grove was ecstatic when he learned the Vikings had acquired wide receiver Randy Moss from the New England Patriots last month. So ecstatic in fact, he quickly purchased a purple No. 84 jersey.

After Moss was released earlier this week however, reality set in. “It was a poor decision,” Ericson said, referring to his Oct. 9 purchase of the $80 Moss jersey at Dick’s Sporting Goods. “I’ve got to stand up and admit I was wrong. When you make a mistake, you need to take responsibility.”

“It definitely surprised me,” said Ericson’s friend Randy Larson. “I knew he was thinking about getting a jersey, but I expected a safer pick like Adrian Peterson or Jared Allen. When he showed up with the Moss, I kind of looked at him kind of like, ‘Are you serious?’”

“I wished and hoped that it would have worked out well,” Ericson said of the jersey. “But from a wardrobe perspective, it was a programmatic nonfit, and it didn’t work out. When things don’t work out, you need to move quickly to take steps.”

Those “steps” involved tossing the lightly worn jersey into his trash can. Friends and family immediately questioned the logic of discarding a high priced item when it could be sold on eBay to recoup some of the money or even given to a clothing drive for the homeless.

Ericson however, described throwing away the jersey as “probably the most unemotional decision I’ve made” and refused to elaborate. “I’m not going to get into a lot of the particulars,” he explained. “I am not going to do that. It’s done. It was a decision that you don’t take lightly, but it was a decision that I had to make and it’s over.”

Ericson’s wife Tina was reportedly upset after not being consulted about the decision to toss the expensive item. When asked if he had discussed the decision with his wife, Ericson cryptically commented, “We have a process that we kind of hold to here and I’m not going give you chapter and verse on the process.”

“I’m fine,” he continued. “I’m really at peace. The decisions I make are for the best welfare of my family. I can look myself in mirror every night when I go to bed and know that in my heart of hearts.”

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